


A Hatake Bride

by Maiika



Series: Kakayama prompts [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Yamato | Tenzou, Canon Universe, F/M, Genderbending, Genderfluid Character, Gods and Monsters, Humor, KakaYama Week 2020, References to Norse Religion & Lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24269125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiika/pseuds/Maiika
Summary: Kakashi is the only ANBU shinobi who can acquire an item vital to the safety of the Hidden Leaf.Unfortunately, the feudal lord in possession of this item has an unorthodox request that borders on embarrassing.Fortunately, Kakashi has Tenzo to help him through the mission...and awaken something else along the way.A Naruto universe adaptation of the Thor the Transvestite myth of Norse Gods.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou
Series: Kakayama prompts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1361143
Comments: 11
Kudos: 32





	A Hatake Bride

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re not familiar with the Norse myth that inspired this story, here’s where you can find the lore: https://norse-mythology.org/tales/thor-the-transvestite/
> 
> Be aware that this story involves use of a female henge and unlike most Kakayama stories, this one is m/f

“I’ve called you here for a rather...sensitive mission, Kakashi,” said the Hokage.

Kakashi raised a brow behind his porcelain mask and then removed it from his face as he scrutinized the professor’s reluctance. He saw it clearly, but it was a rare occurrence with Lord Third. Kakashi had many questions, but he expected them to be answered over the next few minutes, so he held his tongue and kneeling bow as he waited for the Hokage to proceed. When Lord Third opened his mouth, Kakashi almost swore he saw pink wash over his face from his lower cheekbones to the red markings beneath his eyes. That was _beyond_ strange. He didn’t think he’d ever seen the Hokage blush, not even when handing out seduction missions. Kakashi shook his head. He must’ve imagined it.

“Now,” the Hokage said, raising his fist to his mouth and clearing his throat, “I can’t make you accept. I’ll leave this completely to your discretion. You see...it involves a feudal lord of a neighboring land, so we have to be...diplomatic.”

Kakashi shrugged. “I can be diplomatic.”

“This feudal lord has come into possession of a certain deadly toxin formula concocted by Orochimaru.”

Kakashi grunted. If Orochimaru was involved, diplomacy was going to get complicated.

Lord Third waved away Kakashi’s concern with a heavy hand. “This has nothing to do with my old student, Kakashi. But it does have something to do with Sakumo, I’m afraid.”

Kakashi grunted and tensed. “My father?”

“As I’m sure you know, your father left quite the infamous reputation with the Sand Village.” Lord Third sighed and wiped his wrinkled brow, looking more tired and aged than he did when this conversation started. “The feudal lord doesn’t know what he may unearth by releasing that formula, but it is for the safety of all the people in the Land of Fire that we _must_ reclaim it before anything gets out of hand. Orochimaru’s dalliances with dangerous weapons could lead us into another war. But attacking another land’s feudal lord is just as likely to do the same.”

Kakashi scratched his head. “I don’t see what this has to do with my father, Professor.”

Lord Third huffed a laugh. “I _tried_ reasoning with him, but once the feudal lord realized how valuable his newfound possession was to the Hidden Leaf, he insisted we make a deal for it. Kakashi.” He heaved a sigh. “He wants a bride.”

“Okay…” Kakashi drawled uncertainly.

“Not just any bride, Kakashi. A _Hatake_ bride.”

Kakashi snorted. “Good luck. To my knowledge, I’m the only descendent left of my clan.”

“I know.”

* * *

Tenzo tumbled across the grass, his ribs thrumming with the force inflicted by Itachi’s small foot. He stood up straight, spar forgotten, as soon as he noticed the shift in atmosphere, the creak of the branches overhead. Itachi was equally quick to cease his attacks and react to the captain’s appearance on the training grounds. Leaves rained down on them. Kakashi fell from the tree in a flurry of them, gracefully landing in front of Itachi’s small bow.

“Captain,” Tenzo acknowledged.

Kakashi turned, revealing his one dark and unreadable eye. “Tenzo, we’re heading out to the Land of Wind.”

“A mission?” Tenzo stepped forward.

“Yes. Pack your weapons, a week’s worth of food for us both, and...something formal.”

“Formal?”

“Formalwear,” Kakashi said as his eye scanned the torn earth and logs littering the training ground. “You’ll be attending a wedding.”

“Captain,” Itachi said, “should I-“

“Tenzo and I can handle this mission, Itachi.” Kakashi gave him an eye-smile. “Besides, I hear _you’re_ up for captain. Soon you’ll be heading your own team.”

Tenzo smiled at Itachi’s shy smile. “Congratulations, Itachi. You’ll make a great captain.”

“Better than me,” Kakashi said.

Tenzō raised a brow at Kakashi. He was always downplaying his significance and strength, but Tenzo knew him well enough to recognize a deflection. For some reason, Kakashi wanted the attention off of him, and it hadn’t even really been focused on him to begin with.

Tenzo crossed his arms. “Just what kind of mission is this, Captain?”

Kakashi’s eye shifted to Tenzo, heavy and unamused. “You’ll have to drop the ‘captain’, Tenzo. I’m not your captain on this mission.”

“So what _are_ you?” Tenzo teased.

Kakashi’s expression morphed into a tired glare. “Pack your things and meet me at the gates in twenty. I’ll brief you on our mission along the way.”

As Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke, Tenzo exchanged a glance with Itachi. The boy only shrugged back at him, looking too detached to bother indulging in the same confusion Tenzo felt. Tenzo shrugged and cracked his neck. It looked like his workout was over. He had packing to do while he puzzled out what kind of mission awaited him in the Land of Wind.

* * *

Kakashi watched Tenzo fall from the trees in mid-leap. His laughter echoed through the forest. Kakashi stabilized himself on a branch, groaning as he peered through the thick canopy of green to the hidden source of the continuing laughter. He slumped against the rough bark, figuring he should wait it out here while Tenzo processed their mission fully and got the laugh out of his system. 

The bubbly laughter was already dying down to alternate between quieting laughter and violent snorts. Any minute now, Tenzo would compose himself. 

When after another two minutes he _didn’t_ , Kakashi leapt to the ground. If Tenzo wouldn’t get serious on his own, Kakashi was going to _make_ him get serious.

His graceful collision with the forest floor stunned Tenzo out of his snickering before Kakashi said, “Are you finished?”

“I’m sorry,” Tenzo said, beaming at Kakashi as he wiped a tear from his eyes, “you’re going to _marry_ the feudal lord of Wind Country?”

“Yes.”

“Kakashi-Senpai,” he chuckled, “the man is...is...he’s _old._ ”

Kakashi worked his rigid jaw. “I know.”

“And don’t get me wrong, you’re _very_ attractive but…”

“I’m not his type.”

“Not unless you’re hiding a pair of breasts under that mask along with your face.” Tenzo wiped his eyes again, but at least he was able to _meet_ Kakashi’s eye this time.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. “You know what I have to do. Don’t make me say it.”

“Why,” Tenzo emphasized the word heavily as he leaned his back against the nearest tree trunk, “does he want to marry _you,_ specifically?”

“Well, basically…it has to do with an old grudge against the White Fang. Getting payback by extension.”

Tenzo knitted his brows. “Wasn’t he...”

Kakashi nodded, not needing to answer that question when Tenzo’s big brown eyes lit with realization. “No one can pull this off but me, Tenzo. The feudal lord has a sensor for a bodyguard who would recognize a fraud in a second. Fortunately, they don’t know that _I’m_ the last Hatake.”

“Well, it _would_ be a problem if he knew he was getting the Copy Ninja for a bride.” Tenzo’s wide lips split into a grin. “The Hidden Leaf is going to miss you, Senpai. But I wish you all the happin-“

“Shut up.”

Kakashi’s stomach churned. He’d shut Tenzo up with his sharp rebuke, but Tenzo’s jocularity wasn’t helping the situation. They were only halfway to the feudal lord’s home at this point and Kakashi already hated this op more than any mission he’d ever been given.

Kakashi took a deep breath. “I’m going to work through a few henges with you when we set up camp tonight. I don’t have much practice with female transformations.”

“Senpai,” Tenzo said, tilting his head and sobering up in a way that made Kakashi regret _ever_ trying to make Tenzo be serious about this, “are you sure you want t-“

Before Tenzo could touch his shoulder, Kakashi snapped his arm out of Tenzo’s reach. “The Hidden Leaf _needs_ this toxin, Tenzo. Lord Third entrusted me with this mission.”

“Okay,” Tenzo said with a nod, his eyes looking doubtful, “but please tell me you have a plan for getting _it_ and _yourself_ out of there while saving face with the Land of Wind.”

Kakashi smiled. That was the best thing Tenzo had said since this mission started. “That’s where _you_ come in.”

* * *

Tenzo sat in a dark house, surrounded by the chorus of crickets and rustling leaves from the forest surrounding them. He was at the edge of the Land of Fire with Kakashi now, far from civilization. The only reason there was a house here was because Tenzo had recently discovered a way to _fashion_ it from his Wood Style.

In front of his uneasy gaze stood a woman with curves more supple and alluring than any woman he’d ever met. Kakashi had kept her hair white, which was stylized now as sideswept loose bangs over her hooded eyes with thick lashes, pulled into a high ponytail that jutted toward the ceiling. The mouth, though, she hadn’t quite gotten right. And though Kakashi might be tempted to create a story for his so-called Hatake cousin _needing_ a mask like he wore, that wouldn’t make for a good presentation of a bride.

Tenzo scrubbed his face, hoping Kakashi hadn’t caught his gaze sweeping over her cleavage. “Face.”

Kakashi raised an intricate brow. “Face? You mean these eyes aren’t doing it for-“

“And voice.”

Kakashi’s voice _definitely_ needed work. From her appearance, Tenzo expected something more raspy and sultry, closer to a feminine echo of the real Kakashi’s baritone. This voice she just used was too high-pitched. It rang of wrongness.

“Ugh,” Kakashi groaned before she disappeared in a puff of smoke, switching out with the Sharingan Kakashi Tenzo knew. “That’s it for at least thirty minutes. I’ll take a break and try again.”

“It’s just the mouth, really,” Tenzo amended, sensing Kakashi’s frustration with this process that had been going on for hours.

“Yeah?” Kakashi flicked a tired glance in Tenzo’s direction as he took a seat on the floor beside him, crossing his legs. “The mouth, hm? And the voice?”

“A little deeper,” Tenzo suggested with a quirk of his brow. “Make it more _you_.”

“Tenzo,” Kakashi crooned, leaning into him until their shoulders were touching, “you think my voice is attractive?”

Tenzo went red. “I didn’t say that!”

“It’s okay,” Kakashi said, smiling with his uncovered eyes. “You didn’t have to.”

Tenzo pressed his lips together as he avoided Kakashi’s gaze. “Well, you do make a beautiful woman.”

“The feudal lord’s a lucky man, hm?”

Tenzo chuckled and turned to look at Kakashi. “Not when I kidnap his bride from the ceremony and she takes that toxin with her.”

Kakashi snorted a laugh. “Yeah.”

“Almost makes you feel bad for him.”

“Almost. Until you remember the whole reason we’re _in_ this mess is the perverse pleasure he takes in the promise of tormenting an innocent woman for the rest of her life in order to take revenge on an old enemy.”

Tenzo tsked. “Bastard. It’s a good thing you _don’t_ have a living female relative.”

Kakashi cocked his head. “I don’t know…”

Tenzo grunted, a question on the tip of his tongue.

“I don’t think that would change things. I’d have even _more_ reason to do this then, wouldn’t I?”

Tenzō pursed his lips, tilting his head side to side as he considered. Kakashi was willing to be humiliated, not only subjecting himself to Tenzo’s laughter as he’d already done, but to the wedding guests from the Hidden Sand who looked to ridicule not only the bride, but Kakashi’s legendary father and by extension, Sharingan Kakashi as well with this farce of a wedding. It was all for the Hidden Leaf, for a misplaced formula irresponsibly designed by the same madman who’d both cursed and gifted Tenzo with his unique Wood Style ability. To think he might have a relative to protect, any Hatake survivor aside from himself who might suffer through the same humiliation and have to live with it, of course Kakashi’s determination to complete this mission would be considerably strengthened.

Tenzo hummed his agreement, studying Kakashi. He looked stoic as ever, but Tenzo knew that deep down, his thoughts were circulating rapidly. He was formulating backup plans, imagining any ways their mission might be compromised and need adjusting, just like he always did. No scenario in the line of duty ever seemed to take Kakashi by surprise. His genius made him a great captain. Even though Tenzo would be taking risks with his part in this mission, he trusted Kakashi to see it through without a hitch.

“Well,” Kakashi groaned, raising his arms and stretching. “I’m ready for the next round. This time, Tenzo,” he said as he stood, “check me out like you would any woman at the bar. I need to be sure the feudal lord finds me appealing so there’s no chance of him backing down.”

As Kakashi formed familiar hand signs and disappeared in a puff of smoke, Tenzo choked. He was glad Kakashi didn’t know he’d been looking at her that way all along.

When she reappeared before his eyes, altered but not too much different, more beautiful than before, Tenzo bit back a sigh. It was just a henge. He had to keep reminding himself this had nothing to do with harboring feelings for his captain. He didn’t. He _couldn’t_ let the way her smile made him feel get in the way of this mission, but the more he saw her, the harder it was to remember that.

Kakashi had _no idea_ what he was doing to Tenzo on this mission.

* * *

Kakashi scanned her gaze up the golden metalwork of the feudal lord’s gates with a sigh. This was it. From now until the moment she and Tenzo escaped this wedding, Kakashi would have to maintain this henge and forsake her true identity.

“Ready, Shiko?” Tenzo said.

Kakashi shot a sideways glare to the eyes hidden behind the red, black and white of Tenzo’s porcelain mask. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Have I told you you look beautiful today?” Tenzo said as he proceeded to meet the guards at the gate.

“You can take your compliments and-“

“Welcome!” cheered a robed elderly woman stepping forward to meet them. The guards parted the way as she slipped through the open gates and assessed her company with wise eyes. “This must be the Hatake girl my lord is expecting.”

“It is,” Tenzo said, angling his chin toward Kakashi. “Will your lord be coming forth to meet his bride?”

The old woman tilted her head at Tenzo. “You are her escort?”

Tenzo bowed his head. “You may call me by my code name - Cat.”

“And her?” The old woman nodded toward Kakashi.

“This is Sh-“

“A woman who can speak for herself,” Kakashi interrupted coolly, leveling the old woman with a glare until she finally received her full attention. “Shiko Hatake. That is what you want to hear, isn’t it? My clan name?”

The old woman appraised Kakashi before addressing Tenzo. “I’ll need you to turn in your weapons. No outside shinobi shall bring weapons into the home of our feudal lord.”

“Of course.”

“And you,” the old woman said to Kakashi. “ _Shiko_. You aren’t a kunoichi, by any chance?”

Kakashi folded her arms across her bosom and turned away from the old woman. She could feel the guards’ eyes on her as she canted her hips and relaxed her stance. It wasn’t like when Tenzo appreciated her figure. These men were _leering_. If Kakashi wasn’t busy playing a role right now, she would do something about that. She filed it away, knowing her moment wouldn’t come until after the ceremony was complete and the bottle of toxin was in her hand.

“Shiko?” the old woman said.

Kakashi turned her eyes on the old woman, playing as if she hadn’t heard a thing. “Hm? Were you saying something?”

“Please excuse Shiko,” Tenzo said, “it’s been a long journey from the Hidden Leaf.”

“I’m sure.” The old woman smiled tightly. “Please let me show you to your rooms. You can settle in and clean up before meeting my lord.”

As the old woman moved out of earshot, Tenzo began to move. Kakashi slowly followed. The guards watched them pass while securing Tenzo’s weapons and keeping attentive eyes on Kakashi. Kakashi tucked her chin to her chest, letting the longer white hair of her transformation fall over her long eyelashes. Her heeled open-toe sandals moved over the crunching gravel of the feudal lord’s sunlit courtyard as she passed columns of decorative succulents and white ribbons hanging from the upper level balconies. Decorations. Apparently, the feudal lord wasn’t wasting any time with getting this wedding finalized.

“You know,” Tenzo whispered over his shoulder, “you could at least _pretend_ to be pleasant.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

Tenzo scoffed. “Why are we _here_?”

“Oh,” Kakashi drawled in the raspy voice she’d perfected but still wasn’t used to hearing from her own mouth, “I think we’re here for my arranged marriage to an ugly old man who only wants me because my distant cousin, the White Fang, did what a shinobi does best. I’d say I have no reason to be pleasant. Wouldn’t you agree, Tenzo?”

Tenzo hissed. “Don’t use that name.”

“Sorry, _Cat._ ”

Kakashi raised a brow, surprised at herself. She sounded like a lot of the hard women Kakashi had come across in his line of work. Kakashi shook her head. She’d never get used to hearing this voice from her mouth. She had to get this marriage over with already.

“I’ll escort you as far as your door,” Tenzo said as they passed through a doorway leading to an interior hall lined with many arched doors. “But then I should leave you. We can rendezvous tonight.”

“Oh, Ten-Cat,” Kakashi teased at Tenzo’s back, fighting the habitual urge to shove her hands into pockets that didn’t exist on her dress, “and just before my wedding. What kind of blushing bride do you think I am?”

Tenzo coughed, but didn’t look over his shoulder. “Nobody would accuse you of blushing, not with a mouth like that. It’s going to get you into trouble someday.”

“There you go,” Kakashi drawled as she turned to the door left open for her, “making promises you can’t keep again.”

Kakashi raised a brow when she noticed Tenzo eyeing the ruffled bedding on the large mattress behind her, a hint of pink coating his smooth cheeks. 

“Just,” Tenzo said, “get in there and stop teasing me, please.”

Kakashi cocked her head. She couldn’t _believe_ she had Tenzo so flustered. And she couldn’t just let this go, not when it was getting good. She leaned into Tenzo’s space. “Sure you don’t want to go a round? After tomorrow, I’ll be a married woman unable to lay a hand on the handsome man escorting me.”

Tenzo wheezed a disgruntled sound as he jerked away from her, slamming his back into the open door. “ _Please._ Please, get away from me, Shiko. _Kakashi_ ,” he hissed, shaking his head as his eyes went wide. “You’re endangering the mission.”

Kakashi raised a brow and backed into the room. It seemed _Tenzo_ was the one at risk of endangering the mission, but she wasn’t going to point that out to him now, not when she’d rattled him this much already.

“Take it easy, Cat,” she said, scratching the back of her head. “I’ll see you again when we meet with the feudal lord.” She shot him a look. “You’ll be ready?”

He gave her a tight nod. “Of course.”

She was referring to his readiness to take what belonged to them in case it wasn’t handed over easily. It was _supposed_ to be Kakashi’s gift to take, but they couldn’t trust a feudal lord who’d made a deal like this with the Hokage to follow through as promised. If the toxin had to be taken, Tenzo would steal it from the feudal lord, and then the two of them would steal away in the night. It would complicate the Hidden Leaf’s diplomacy with the Land of Wind, but it would be better than leaving without that toxin.

* * *

The feudal lord was, frankly, a pig. Tenzo could hardly leave Shiko in his hands, even knowing Shiko wasn’t a real woman and was perhaps a more capable shinobi than _he_ was.

Shiko sat in a splendid white bridal gown at the feudal lord’s side, sipping her tea. The feudal lord donned silk black yukata for this occasion, but the fine material did nothing to distract from his sneering round face and repeated leers down his bride-to-be’s chest. Shiko paid him no mind, but Tenzo didn’t need to see a reaction to know Kakashi was under there, restraining herself from lacing into the older man.

“You are,” the feudal lord said to Shiko with another leer, “indeed a beautiful woman, Shiko. Are you sure you’re related to the White Fang?”

“Why?” Shiko said distractedly as she set the teacup on the table. “You don’t think my cousin was an attractive man? Most people who knew him say the opposite.”

“People say _many_ things about Sakumo Hatake,” murmured the feudal lord. “But they’ll be changing their tune after today. That _son_ of his could stand to be knocked down a few pegs, too.”

Shiko glanced sideways at the feudal lord. “Careful. That’s my family you’re talking about.”

The feudal lord seized Shiko’s hand from the table, gripping it tightly. “And _I’m_ your husband.”

“Mm?” Shiko murmured, and Tenzo had to lick his lips, because the sound made his mouth go dry. “So where’s my wedding gift?”

“Oh, you’ll get it,” the feudal lord said, smiling at Shiko, which angered Tenzo even _more_ than his leer. “I can’t believe your Hokage was able to make you agree to this just for that little thing.” He projected his voice across the table. “Are we sure she’s really a Hatake?”

His answer came from a shinobi who’d stuck by his side since their first introduction. “She is, my lord. Undoubtedly, she is of the Hatake clan.”

“Good, good.” He laced his fingers between Shiko’s lithe fingers. “My dear. After today, you’ll be all mine.”

Shiko’s glance flicked across the table to Tenzo, which made him recall the scandalous teasing directed at him earlier outside Shiko’s door. Tenzo shivered, glad no one was looking at him at the time. No one, except Shiko. She gave Tenzo a brief smile before the feudal lord jumped and yelped.

The old man tore his hand from Shiko’s and shook it violently. “Ow!”

Shiko peered sideways at him. “Something wrong?”

He narrowed his eyes at her as he caressed one hand around the other. “I just...had a bit of a shock.”

“Oh?” Shiko’s hooded gaze looked anything but sympathetic. “What a shame.”

Tenzo groaned as he saw the same attendant who’d confirmed Shiko’s clan identity eyeing her with interest. They needed to complete this mission _now_ before Shiko gave herself away.

Tenzo stood from the table with a bow. “Excuse me, my lord. I’m feeling tired. Shiko, would you mind if I retire from duty for the night?”

Shiko frowned. “And miss my wedding? Who’s going to protect-“

“Oh, I will,” the feudal lord said, wrapping his arm around Shiko’s slender shoulders. “You’ll have to learn to rely on your new husband, Shiko.”

Tenzo saw Shiko blanch, so he stumbled away from the table, drawing attention to himself. When the congregation turned their eyes on him rather than the bride, he gave another bow. “Very well, my lord. Shiko, I promise to return before the ceremony has ended.”

“You’d better,” Shiko grumbled.

Tenzo left the banquet hall and all its savory smells and pretty music, trying not to laugh at his senpai’s predicament. Maybe she shouldn’t have made herself so beautiful. The feudal lord would’ve taken any woman, as long as she bore the name and bloodline of the Hatake clan.

They just had to hope he was as dedicated to gifting his bride with the promised possession of Orochimaru’s toxin.

With that thought in mind, Tenzo slipped away to perform a henge of his own, one that would take Shiko by surprise just as much as the other guests attending the feudal lord’s wedding. When he arrived to take her, she’d better have that toxin in her grasp. There would be no going back for it.

* * *

Kakashi left the dance floor to rest. She took a seat beside a woman who looked as ready to get out of here as Kakashi felt as she argued with a surly young child. Kakashi couldn’t leave without that toxin. She was beginning to think the feudal lord was stringing her along. She also hadn’t seen any sign of Tenzo. She couldn’t leave here of her own accord, not without breaking the hokage’s agreement.

“Temari, please,” pleaded the woman at her side. As the child scowled up at her, she tilted her head at Kakashi. “Congratulations are in order for the bride. Or should I say...my condolences?”

The little girl scoffed before crossing her arms and running off, dirty blonde pigtails flopping behind her. Kakashi was willing to bet this caregiver was in for a long road of difficulties with that one. She wasn’t just any brat. She was one of the kazekage’s.

“Whatever do you mean?” Kakashi said, not expecting the woman to stick around long.

“Shiko, is it?” the woman said in a low voice as she frowned at the girl scampering off with another boy. “Shiko _Hatake?_ You know he’s only using you for his revenge. This feudal lord is...not a kind man.”

Kakashi’s eyes narrowed. She had to tread carefully here. Any woman left in charge of a kage’s child was bound to be a perceptive kunoichi. And unlike a feudal lord, she was more likely to catch on to Kakashi’s deception.

Kakashi fanned her face with a cloth napkin. “Maybe he’s in for a worse surprise with me than I am with him.”

The caregiver laughed. “Either way, you must be very loyal to your Hokage to make such a sacrifice.”

“I am.”

“Interesting…” the kunoichi drawled as she cast her gaze across the dancing bodies littering the polished floor of the banquet hall. “I never thought Sakumo Hatake had any descendants apart from a son.”

“We’re distant relatives. The Hokage didn’t have an easy time finding me, either.”

“Well…” She pressed her lips together when the children passed through the reception carrying what looked like firecrackers. She stood swiftly. “Excuse me.”

She didn’t leave without suspicion, casting another look over her shoulder before running after the children. Kakashi gnawed on her plump bottom lip. She needed Tenzo, but most of all, she needed that toxin.

“Ah! _There_ you are!” The feudal lord laughed drunkenly before grabbing her by the waist and hoisting her to her feet. “Come dance with me, my bride!” He nuzzled into her neck, sending a chill down Kakashi’s spine as sandpaper-like skin brushed below her ear. “And later, we’ll _really_ dance.”

Kakashi shoved him away, perhaps a little more forcefully than Shiko should have. But she wasn’t having this. She was done. She was _beyond_ done. She met her husband’s gaze with a glare that conveyed as much and struck out her open hand. She found far too much pleasure in the way he flinched.

“Toxin,” she demanded.

He blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You want to talk about dancing later?” Kakashi propped her free hand on her canted hip, in lieu of a pocket. “I’m doing this for my Hokage. It’s time you give me what I came for, so my guard can deliver it to Lord Hiruzen.”

“Certainly, later, but-“

“Not later. Now,” Kakashi growled.

The feudal lord narrowed his eyes. Kakashi almost thought he saw through her in that moment. She’d grown a little too bold, a little too forceful for Shiko. His arthritic hand came up with a snap of his fingers. Kakashi’s eyes went wide as she stretched out her senses. She had to be prepared to fight. She had no idea what the shinobi who now approached at his lord’s beckoning intended to do.

The feudal lord sighed when the man stopped just behind him. “Give her the toxin. It’s of no use to me, anyway.”

Kakashi gave the feudal lord a coy smile as the shinobi reached into the pouch secured to his hip. All this trouble for one little glass vial. She was going to _enjoy_ ripping from this man all the sense of revenge and perversion he intended to fulfill tonight.

She was only sorry she couldn’t do anything violent.

She took the vial in hand and made a show of raising her long white gown to tuck it into the garter at her thigh. When she rose with poise, pressing her shoulders back, the feudal lord’s eyes were glazed with lust. She grimaced. Maybe she should’ve let up on the performance.

“Oh, Shiko,” he laughed as he swept her in his broad arms and then lowered his hand to her ass, making Kakashi’s face go red. “We’re going to have so much fun together.”

She was _really_ going to enjoy the look on his face when his bride disappeared.

* * *

Tenzo sprinted through the sand, evading the showering wave of kunai and shuriken buzzing past his head. 

It was difficult to make hand signs with his teammate in a full dress draped over his shoulder, but he did so at an awkward angle, charged his chakra, and dispelled two henged clones to head in opposite directions. Following his lead, Shiko pressed off his shoulders, shoved her heels into his chest, and somersaulted away from him without Tenzo ever halting his run.

His grin broadened as he watched her perform her own jutsu, sinking into the sand, where even the skilled Sand ANBU after them wouldn’t be able to find their kidnapped bride. He was sure Shiko wouldn’t waste a second transforming herself back into Kakashi after the way the groom was groping her when Tenzō crashed the party.

Tenzo shook his head, but thoughts of the kidnapping didn’t stop him from smiling. He’d arrived just when the feudal lord tried pressing a hand against Shiko’s breast, and if there was ever a time Tenzo saw fire in Kakashi’s usually-stoic eyes (because regardless of the wonders of the transformation, the eyes _were_ Kakashi), that had been it. 

Tenzo charged chakra to his feet and sped forward just as an assailant leapt past him. He shook one pursuer with a wood binding, lost one clone, and found a cave to tuck himself away where no one had managed to pursue him. After an hour of patient waiting and silence, he knew the coast was clear. His remaining clone would rendezvous with Kakashi. Tenzo just had to relax, tuck his head back against the cold stone of this cave wall, and wait for them.

* * *

“I’ve got the toxin,” Kakashi said into the dark cave. When Tenzo didn’t immediately come forward, he raised a brow at Tenzo’s clone who’d brought him here. “Is he coming, or…?”

“You’ve got to give me a minute, Senpai,” Tenzo called from inside the cave. He appeared from the darkness, pressing an earpiece to his ear and furrowing his brows. “It wasn’t easy retrieving all my equipment from those Sand shinobi at the feudal lord’s palace. I think they damaged my microphone.”

Kakashi cocked _his_ head, reveling in the familiar feeling of the simple act. He would never take for granted again being in his own skin. That was the longest he’d ever had to hold a henge. Even if fighting would’ve been allowed on his part, judging by the way his chakra felt now from such prolonged use and exposure of his Sharingan, he doubted he would’ve been strong enough to wipe out all the Sand shinobi Tenzo had fought when he stole the bride right out from the arms of the feudal lord. But now that Tenzo had everything under control, Kakashi wondered if news about their event had made its way back to the Hidden Leaf ahead of them.

Tenzo met Kakashi’s eyes, his brown eyes bright with optimism. “Yep. Sounds like word travels fast.”

“Safe to head home?”

Tenzo nodded. “Yes. Just watch out for a masked shinobi of above average height with a hideous scar along his neck. Apparently, you’re just his type.”

The fondness radiating off of Tenzo when he smiled took Kakashi’s breath away. He knew Tenzo didn’t mean to show him that, but it was too late. Kakashi saw it - the confirmation of what he’d been suspicious of through this whole mission. He wondered how much of it was really just the henge. Because if Tenzo could smile like that _now_ , when Kakashi was Kakashi again, there had to be something deeper there than the appeal of curves, plump lips and long lashes.

When Tenzo turned away, Kakashi hummed. “I guess I am.”

“Uh.” Tenzō stopped sharply before turning his head over his shoulder and revealing a blush. “Kakashi…”

Kakashi laughed and slid up to Tenzo’s side to slap him on the back. “Let’s report to the Hokage. I want to finish this mission so I can forget it ever happened as soon as possible.”

But as they set off at a run, Kakashi doubted the sincerity of his own words. This mission wouldn’t easily be forgotten. He’d never thought of Tenzo as anything but a comrade before. But Shiko has changed more than Kakashi’s outward appearance. She’d changed his perception. And the partnership she experienced with Tenzo on this mission, the appreciation she felt for him when he treated her like a lady and restrained from laying a hand on her, even when he was tempted and she teased him, had changed Kakashi’s feelings about his teammate, the new feelings holding even now when he was back to himself.

* * *

Tenzo was enjoying the warmth and familiarity of his apartment when there was a knock on his door. He went to it, tired and in no mood for conversation or visitors after wrapping up a tiresome mission. He’d reported in with Kakashi to return the hokage’s valued toxin. They had all evidence of Shiko’s kidnapping corroborated with the Land of Wind, who would continue to search for the missing bride until it would be realized there was no trace of the woman. The feudal lord would have no real harm done to him, just return to being an old bachelor with one less deadly weapon in his possession. Kakashi had left looking more tired than Tenzo felt, so when he opened the door, the person he found on the other side was the last person Tenzo expected to see.

“Shiko?” He gasped.

She stood there with her white hair brushing her cheekbones, her eyes heavily lidded and looking up at him through thick lashes. If Tenzo wasn’t mistaken, there was _lipstick_ on her lips. He furrowed his brows when he realized how tempting this was, Kakashi coming to his door like she was making an offering of herself. And then immediately it struck him how much of a _trap_ this was.

“Kakashi,” he growled. He intended to shove Kakashi away. He intended to scold her for teasing him _again_. He intended not let her inside his apartment.

But that didn’t happen.

Shiko shoved _him_ by the shoulder and in one swift move, had the door closed behind her and Tenzo pinned to the wall. His heart raced, thumping in his chest as she leaned close, smelling of flowers and sweetness.

“Tenzo,” Shiko drawled in his ear, “don’t ever tell anyone we used a henge like this. It’s just...this once.”

“Yes,” Tenzo hissed, finally seizing Shiko by the hips. “Kak-Shiko.”

She passed her gaze across his face, down to his lips and back up to his eyes. “You can use my real name.”

Tenzo closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the sight of her in combination with her voice, her heat, her smell. “Kakashi.”

He pressed a kiss to those supple lips to find them eager and accepting. Kissing Kakashi wasn’t strange. It wasn’t like kissing his captain. It was kissing his teammate. It was kissing his friend, who wanted this just as much as he did, to his pleasant surprise.

Kakashi broke the kiss with a conceited huff. “I knew I could take advantage of my handsome escort.”

Tenzo reached for the hem of her shirt. “Please stop, Senpai. You already have me where you want me.”

After her shirt passed over her head, Kakashi licked her lips and shoved Tenzo toward his bed. “I will soon enough.”


End file.
